Kai goes shirtless
by Gigglesworth
Summary: What happens if one day, Kai decided to go shirtless? Poor Kai, EVERYBODY wants you. A fic full of Crack *Updated! Chaper 15*
1. how it all began

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**It's hard to find a shirtless Kai fanfic and I thought 'oooh, I should write one on crack!' and thus, this baby was born. **

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Today was training day and a scorching hot day it was.

To prove how extremely hot it was, Tyson demonstrated by cracking an egg and watch it cook itself on the pavement and just like instant noodles. It was cooked within three minutes.

"see Hilary? This is why we can't train today" Tyson said, explaining to Hilary how it's impossible it is to train today due to the wave of heat and he recently took his shirt off, even his pants. Hilary didn't care seeing Tyson wearing only his boxers. Ever since they were kids Hilary has already seen Tyson running around the neighborhood naked lots of times. Tyson argued from time to time that it was a long time ago and his manhood has '_matured'._

Tyson wasn't the only one half-naked. Majority of the boys also took off their shirts, Kai remained inside of the house where, according to him, was much cooler. His friends had argued that it was like an oven inside.

"oh my, you are right Tyson. It is too hot to train today" Hilary faked a gasp and concern. Tyson smiles victoriously because he had managed to win an argument with Hilary 'Finally!'

But Hilary was too stubborn to lose as she has a backup plan "It's a good thing I reserved a slot for us at the BBA training center" the beybladers groans

"it's fully air-conditioned" she offered

It was then at that moment, Kai went outside after having overheard of air-conditioned training centers "then what are we waiting for? Let's go" he ordered. His team mates stares at his half-shirted nakedness.

His glorious half-naked sweaty body exposed before them.

And it was beautiful!

It was so marvelously beautiful, the rest of the boys felt small and ineffectual. They decided to quickly wear their shirts to avoid scrutiny from the eyes of stalking fan girls nearby. They didn't even hear one of the fan girls head exploded seconds ago. Hilary stares dreamily, not wanting this moment to end.

Kai suddenly felt self-conscious and decided to go back inside and put on his shirt back on. He felt Hilary grab him by the arm "Kai stop!" Kai took a sidelong glance at her wondering why she is stopping him.

"Kai… you're shirtless" Hilary blurted out, blushing madly.

"So?" Kai said, eying her and everyone else. Why does it feel like everyone wants ravish him right here and now?

"Kai I want you to stay shirtless for the rest of the day…No! for a week…I mean.. FOREVER!" she ordered. Kai looks at her incredulously "what? NO!"

"please!"

"no!" Kai forcibly push himself to get inside while Hilary was still clutching on his arm and was dragged in the process.

Tyson, still wearing his boxers stared at the scene and complains very loudly "what does Kai got that I don't?"

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**(A/N): Dear readers, if you are interested reading more shirtless Kai stories. I would turn this into series of Drabbles, on crack. Feel free to ask away! (^_^)**


	2. Shirtless Kai and Tala

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**This Drabble is so easy to update. Thank you for liking the first chapter and here's an update as a reward. Please take note that this is ****not a YAOI series.**

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Chapter 2: Tala can be shirtless too!

Ever since she saw Kai shirtless, Hilary has been plotting ways to get him to take off his clothes and she has Max as her accomplice. What she didn't know was that Max had developed a growing appreciation of seeing Kai shirtless and in Max's mind; Kai's body was like fine art. Both partners in crime were brainstorming for a perfect opportunity to get Kai shirtless again.

Hiding inside the Restroom and locked himself inside for privacy. Ray sat on the closed toiled seat; he was in a state of confusion. He's starting to question his sexuality after he saw Kai shirtless yesterday. Even his dreams where filled with shirtless Kais and all of them were all so sexy that he grabbed the nearest sexy shirtless Kai and kissed him right there!

Wait, what?

Ray slaps himself silly and took a fistful of his hair and screams to the high heavens "what is WRONG with me?"

Tyson bangs on the door "I don't know what you are doing in there Ray but I REALLY NEED TO USE THE TOILET!"

Inside their respective locker rooms, Kai was wearing his usual outfit. He was minding his own business, his mind focus for his match against Tala. He didn't notice Max walking towards him with a glass full of water. As he got closer to Kai, Max 'accidentally' trips letting his glass full of water to drench Kai's clothes.

Max sincerely apologize to his sexy team mate using his most adorable puppy dog face "oh gosh Kai! I'm so sorry. It was an accident buddy" He was glad that Kai wasn't a bit angry "it's fine Max"

"here let me help you take off your clothes and I'll put them in the dryer" Max said and he attempts to place his hands on Kai's clothes. He was disappointed when Kai refuse his help "no, I'm fine"

"are you sure?"

"Hn"

"are you positively absolutely sure?"

Kai raise an eyebrow and grew suspicious "what are you up to?"

Max looks innocently "nothing. I'm just concerned of your health since you're our best player"

Kai sees nothing wrong with that logic "Fine"

Seeing that Plan A didn't work. It was time for Hilary to execute Plan B and she was sure he'll take off his shirt. Hilary walked with a bucket full of water and just like Plan A. She 'accidentally' trips letting the bucket to fall directly on Kai's head causing him to be fully drenched. Hilary faked a concern for her unfortunate sexy friend "oh no! Kai, I'm very sorry. Quick take off your clothes before you'll catch a cold" she starts undress him by starting off his scarf.

Max joined in "let me help you!"

Kai had enough and almost yell at the two "what the hell is wrong with you?" In silent anger Kai stormed off the locker room with his clothes still intact.

"rats! We were _this_ close Max. So close" Max nodded in agreement.

With the match almost starting, Kai sat in the players bench still dripping wet. Tyson looks at his friend in concern. "Kai, why are you wet?" he asks.

"don't ask" Kai coldly said

Tyson rolled his eyes. Kai can be so moody sometimes "fiiine. Be that way. You're up against Tala, get up there"

As Kai went up the bey stadium, he could feel Tala's winter element breezing coolly. He could feel his wet clothes starts to harden quickly freezing him in the process. But Kai ignored the numbing cold since his element was fire. This match will be a cinch.

Boy was he wrong! He had underestimated Tala. The red haired Russian has improved his skills dramatically and they seem to be on equal footing. Wolborgs' attacks was too much and Kai can't take the cold anymore. There was only one thing to do… Take off his wet clothes!

Kai starts off with his scarf, Tala has mistaken this action thinking Kai is getting serious and he might be using a special attack "I see you have taken off your scarf"

And now Kai threw his jacket next

"oh, and your jacket too" Tala was even more confused when Kai took off his shirt "Kai are you planning on fighting me naked?"

Finally, Kai was shirtless and the crowd went wild.

'hmmm…I get it. He's getting strength from his cheering fans by giving them fan service' although that wasn't exactly the point, Tala refused to be outshine by Kai's sculpted upper body. He decided to rips his clothes apart, revealing that he too can swoon the crowd with his body he works so hard to achieve to perfection and it worked. Seeing two sexy shirtless males was too much for the whole audience to handle and they all went crazy. Hilary and Max cheered from the benches "WOOHOOO!"

So about a quarter of the crowd fainted and half of them had a massive seizure.

The tournament has to end abruptly due to medical reasons.

Mr. Dickenson has decided that it is now forbidden for Kai and Tala to take off their shirts at every tournament.

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**(A/N): This is probably my favorite crack series to update. Thanks for reading/reviewing 'Kai is shirtless' and now to reply reviewers.**

**MisstiqueRose – I have fulfilled your wish to include Tala. Hope you like!**

**Zulka – dammit you're right! I never thought of that. To make up for it, this chapter is dedicated to the guys having man crushes on our favorite sexy Kai, except for Tyson. He is still having conflicted feelings.**** Thanks for giving me ideas ;)  
**


	3. I wanna snuggle with shirtless Kai

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**I swear every new update the chapter gets insane  
**

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Chapter three: I wanna snuggle with shirtless Kai tonight

It was one of those rare moments were Kai would be sleeping shirtless. Hilary and Max were stalking him in his sleep. It was a wonderful feeling watching shirtless Kai sleep, so breathtaking; he looks so peaceful, so cute, and so undeniably sexy. There was this unexplained feeling of wanting to sleep next to him and cuddle close to his warm naked upper body and just smell that unique scent of his.

MMMMmmmmmm…yeeeaaah

Then came an authoritarian voice to shatter that wonderful dream "What do you think you two are doing?" Tyson's voice startled the two. They quickly try to think of a good excuse. It's sure is a good thing Kai happens to be a heavy sleeper for tonight.

Hilary wildly flails her arms and blushed "we are _definitely _not planning to snuggle up to Kai's sexy body!"

Max quickly confirms and tries to look innocent, hiding traces of his man crush "it's true!"

Tyson stares at them in mild confusion "Oookaaay?" then he turns his head to look at Kai's sleeping form. _Oh my, _it looks like the sheet has drawn down all the way to Kai's waist revealing his exceptionally muscular upper body _'goodness, he has the most amazing abs'_ and he's sleeping in a very seductive sexy pose. Seeing Kai shirtless gave Tyson a pause for a thought.

Is it _wrong _to appreciate how nice Kai's body is and not be mistaken for anything gay? Sure Tyson was straight but no matter how he claims how straight he is when he looks at him shirtless, Kai was REALLY that good looking. Now that he thinks about it, he needed proof that he really has a massive man crush on his best friend-rival.

Tyson scratches the back of his head "ummm…you know, we could get some extra futons and sleep next to him, not that I _like _him that way but I think Kai needs protection from stalking fan girls who wants to take advantage of him" he said, a bit awkwardly. Hoping his two friends will believe his lie.

Hilary was ecstatic "that's a great idea Tyson!"

"Welcome to the club!" Max gave him a hug.

Hooray! They gained a new member!

Somewhere…

Ray wanted to confirm that he does not fancy Kai in a romantic way. To prove that he's a fully functional heterosexual male, he's currently on a date with his not yet girlfriend, Mariah.

"Mariah"

"yes Ray?"

Ray swallowed hard "I've been having…problems"

"what kind of problems" she looks at him with concern. She saw Ray was busy staring at the ground, blushing. 'awww..he looks cute'

"weeell… you see, I wanted to confirm something. Can we kiss?"

Mariah instantly agreed and she got her wish. After three years, the two finally had their first kiss.

And it _sucked. _Ray didn't feel anything at all, it wasn't magical unlike his dream about him kissing shirtless Kai and they were both on a horse, riding gallantly up the mountains and get goose bumps when he feels his naked chest next to his.

Oh snap…

It's confirmed. He's infatuated with his Team mate. Ray moved his head back and couldn't help but frown. Mariah did the exact same thing; she was really disappointed "That was…"

"I'm sorry…it's Kai" Ray later admitted, he hopes Mariah won't hate him after this admission but none came from the pink haired beyblader "ooooooohhh, that's explains it" she was more surprise than angry.

"you're not angry at me are you?"

"not at all Ray!"

"really?"

"yes, I definitely can't blame you if it's Kai you are in love with. He's so sexy fine" Mariah begins to imagine really naughty thoughts that involves the three of them doing really X-rated stuff. She still likes Ray but after seeing Kai shirtless for the first time, she fell in love.

Ray started to cry out of happiness. Thank goodness he has an understanding friend like Mariah.

Morning came. Kai half-awake, he was having a feeling of uneasiness, he felt heavy somehow. He can't move his limbs, he feels numb, what's happening to him? Finally opening his eyes, Kai look down and saw a shocking view. All his friends Tyson, Hilary, Max, Ray and Mariah! All squeeze themselves leaving no personal space for Kai and slept next to him with a satisfied look in their faces. They even threw away his blanket and used their bodies to 'keep him warm'.

What. The. Hell?

He's never going to sleepover at Tyson's house ever again!

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**(A/N): Where's Kenny in all of this? I'll explain it in future chapters. I don't know if I can update tomorrow, you see it's a local holiday and it means spending time with family so there's a 50/50 chance for me to have some free time in writing.**

**And now it's time for answering REVIEWERS**

**Lilt: You want a chapter full of KaixJulia? Sure! Now all I need is a good scenario.**

**Reviewers who want more shirtless Kai and Tala: yes, yes… there will be more.**

**Thanks for reviewing!**


	4. Kai's shirt magically disappears

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Chapter update again! I would like to say Kai is the only sane man in this story.**

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Chapter four: Circus time! Kai's shirt magically disappears

The Circus is in town!

What better way to spend a wonderful weekend. Kai decided to go with his friends to watch the circus as long as they behave and not planning on making him shirtless again… or any weird shenanigans that still involves him being shirtless.

Earlier some time ago…

_Tyson and the gang try their best to explain to a furious Kai why they were 'cuddling' very close to him because Kai felt really, really violated. Tyson sticks to his original excuse he gave to Hilary and Max from that evening "We were protecting you from crazy fan girls!"_

_Max offered his side of excuse "you were cold and the blanket wasn't enough. Plus, you're our best player! Your health is important" Hilary sided with the blonde "umm..yeah! the blanket wasn't enough to keep you warm"_

_Ray joined in "so we formed a human blanket for you"_

_Kai glare at them with disbelief. Are they really serious? Do they really think he is that stupid? Kai gave them an ultimatum so something like last night won't happen again "If any of you do this again. I'll move to Russia" he warned. His friends made a sign of promise with their hand "we promise never to do that again"._

_Mariah came barging in with a paper in hand "hey guys! The circus is in town!"_

Kai has no idea how his friends manage to persuade him to go with them but here he is, sitting in one of the best seats offered by their Spanish beyblading friends Raul and Julia. The circus was nice to say the least, it sort of fill the void of his unhappy childhood. He was also enjoying the fact that his friends are really behaving and not planning on getting him shirtless again but he can't be too sure. 'hn. Where's that idiot Tyson went off to?'

Inside his private trailer, the ever famous magician 'The Amazing Ricardo" was putting on the finishing touches of his make-up because it makes him look fabulous. While he was busy powdering his nose, Tyson came behind him scaring the magician in the process "Hi!"

"GAAAAH!" he quickly turns around and his left hand clutch his chest while his other hand held a brush for protection "who are you and how did you get in here!"

"your window was open" Tyson said, pointing at the open window. Tyson proceeded why he was there in the first place "look I'm here to ask you a favor".

The adult puts down the brush and composed himself "what kind favor?"

Tyson place wads of cash he and his friends chip-in in order to bribe the magician "I want you to make my friend's shirt disappear" he shows him a picture of Kai. The magician discreetly hid the money in his pocket "Okay, I'll do it but why do you want him to be shirtless?"

Tyson looks away, a little embarrassed "it's complicated"

A few minutes later, Tyson came back with the gang and took his seat next to Kai "So, what did I miss?"

Hilary fills him in "you missed Raul and Julia's act"

Tyson feigns looking disappointed "really? That's a darn shame"

The Ringmaster came out to announce the next performance "And now ladies and gentlemen! I present to you the amazing, mind boggling, magnificent magician ever walked the earth… Ricardo!"

He got out of the curtain and walks into the center of the ring to greet the fans "thank you! thank you!" he carefully scans the audience looking for Tyson and found him. He gave Tyson a wink, telling him he's going to do that special trick.

Tyson winks at him back for approval.

"For my special disappearing trick, I shall need a volunteer!" he looks around for a while pretending to be interested to the willing audience. In one swift movement with added dramatic fashion, he pointed his finger towards Kai "Aha! How about you? You look perfect"

Kai narrowed his eyes "what?" he flatly said. His friends quickly encourage him to say yes.

"Kai it'll be fun!"

"yeah Kai! Do it!"

"come on!"

"I'll call you a chicken if you won't do it"

Kai finally gives in "Fine" his friends couldn't contain their excitement "YEEEEEEEY!"

So now here he was, standing at the center, covered by a 'magic red blanket'. Kai wondered what this magician is planning to do. "watch closely as I make this teen's shirt disappear!"

'did he just say, make his shirt disappear?'

Kai quickly looks at his friends, glaring at them as if wanting to kill them. Tyson and the gang pretended they have nothing to do with his current predicament. Too angry to pay any attention to the magician, Ricardo was already finished with his trick.

"and voila! His shirt is gooooone!" the crowd went wild, including Tyson and the gang. Majority of the audience were beyblading fans and things escalated very wildly after Kai was once again shirtless.

"OH MY GOD IT'S SHIRTLESS KAI!" fans starts stampeding towards him.

For his safety, Kai ran for his life. In his effort to dodge the fans, he needed a place to hide and with his secret ninja skills, he jumps to the nearest trailer with an open window. 'I'll be safe here' he looks around to see if there was anyone inside.

There was somebody inside

and it's a girl…

Julia was in the middle of changing her costume and Kai caught a glimpse of her semi nudity.

Kai stared, He wished she didn't think he's some pervert.

Julia stared, She wished Kai was here to ravish her because seriously, this is Kai were talking about and he's shirtless.

Both continued staring for the longest time…

Their staring contest ended when they heard one fans talking "Kai could be anywhere guys! Let's search over there!" Julia got the idea why Kai was here. He was hiding and he happens to choose HER trailer to hide. Her horoscope was right! She gets lucky today. "I understand your situation"

Oh good, she didn't think of him as a huge pervert.

"I'll let you stay here to hide in one condition"

"…" Kai has no idea what he's in for.

Julia grins "stay with me for tonight and stay shirtless"

Screw that! Kai grabs the nearest piece of clothing to cover himself and ran straight to the door. Julia looks on as Kai ran for cover "you were able to get away this time but on our next meeting there will be no escape" she said with a sinister voice.

The next day, Kai books his flight for Russia

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**(A/N): Looks like I did manage to update today, hooray! I am very grateful for all of you for liking this crazy story. If only I can turn this into a comic hmmmm…. Can't draw.**

**Time to answer the Reviewers**

**Kiray Himawari: your request will be on the next chapter. MOAR SHIRTLESS TALA!**

**dark-phoenix-4eva****: Sorry but there are no pairings in this story. Only SHIPTEASE! Yes, I could pair anyone with Kai but no with no romance involve. Just constant TEASING.**

**Sunny: BryanxKai? Hmmm… I'll see what I can do.**

**MisstiqueRose****: of course I'll continue! As long as you guys keep inspiring me with ideas.**

**I hope I brighten your day, So review me maybe?**


	5. Russia part 1

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**This was delayed because I need to think of a good plot and I was overwhelmed with the idea of shirtless Kai, Tala and Bryan. This chapter is crazy!**

**Here's my bad attempt of quoting an 'In Soviet Russia' meme**

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Chapter five: In Soviet Russia, Shirtlessness finds you!

Getting far away from his friends in Japan was a good idea. At least the Blitzkrieg Boys are immune of his 'sexy shirtless curse' and it would be unmanly for them to start fantasizing of the thought of him being shirtless. Kai reaches his destination, the abbey. Knocking on the door he was greeted with a large piece of flesh belonging to Bryan.

A shirtless Bryan.

Why the hell is he shirtless?

"Kai! We've been waiting for you. Come on in" Bryan led Kai towards the main room where the others are, Kai was still staring at Bryan. Sensing his visitor's intense stare, Bryan explains "you are probably wondering why I'm shirtless. You see, ever since you and Tala were shirtless at the tournament there was this online poll that says 'who was the sexiest' and I was included. Long story short, we are still competing for the _Manly Shirtless Award_". For emphasis, Bryan flexes his muscles.

This only disturbs Kai even more when they reached the main lobby and Tala spots him. "Kai! Good to see you" A very sweaty, shirtless, fresh from the gym Tala approaches Kai to give him a welcoming greeting and a sweaty manly embrace. Kai felt dirty, he's going to need a very long shower and he's going to wash his clothes repeatedly.

"Since you are here, tomorrow we will go to Russia's famous beach and compete for that Manly Shirtless Award! So you better get your swim trunks ready" Tala informs

All he wants was a nice and quiet place far away from his crazy friends in Japan, is that too much to ask? he definitely has no plans of taking off his shirt in public places. Kai made an excuse "I don't have any swimming trunks with me"

Tala has already presented him with an available swimwear "We knew this would happen. So we already have one for you!" it was a sexy piece of black speedo thong for men. Kai gave Tala a _'The-fuck-is-this?'_ look. Tala reasons with him "don't be such a baby. We are all wearing the same piece"

"no"

"where's your spirit of competition?"

Kai remains indignant "I am not going with you wearing THAT"

"We also knew you would be like this. So I came up with a back-up plan" Tala snaps his fingers and everything went black after their conversation. Tala laughs evilly "sorry Kai but I never take no for an answer"

**Severodvinsk, Yagry Island **_**Beach**_

Kai woke up with a blur vision of his surroundings. He first saw two blurred heads looking down on him, Kai squints his eyes so he could see clearly, he recognized those heads belonging to Tala and Bryan.

"I think he's waking up Tala"

"Good! Let's lather him up with oil" they start doing so. No matter how much Kai wanted to move, he just doesn't have the strength to stop them. That must've been some powerful drug they've used to knock him out and it's probably illegal too. Kai mumbles something almost impossible to hear.

"what did he say?"

"something about murdering us in a most horrific way as possible" Tala shrugs of the threat knowing Kai will never go through with it. "ok we're done! In about 5 minutes the competition will start. Let's warm up" Tala and Bryan starts their warm up by doing some stretches and moderate exercises while wearing their thong speedos.

If it weren't for security. Fan girls would have already kidnapped the two (plus Kai) and hide them in some underground hideout and fulfill their wicked fan girl fantasies on the sexy shirtless males.

.

.

.

Who will win the Shirtless Manly Award? Watch out for part 2

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**(A/N): My updates are just Random. I know it might annoy you guys but nobody's perfect. You might be wondering where is Spencer and Ian in this chapter, your questions will be answered in part 2.**

**Time to answer the Reviewers**

**MisstiqueRose**** : You got your wish for a Blitzkrieg muscle fest! YEAH!**

**Lilt: You mention something about Kai on a beach. So I made a scene for you! :D**

**Sunny: I made a KaixBryan moment since you ask for one! Sorry it was kinda short**


	6. Russia part 2

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Updates are slow? I'm looking for ideas, I'm going to need ideas for the next chapter, can you help or give suggestions for the next or future plots?**

**Anyways, have fun with this chapter! btw I'm using some lucky reviewers name in this chapter, just for the lolz **_**(another reason was because I can't think of any Russian names)**_

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Chapter 5 part 2: and the Sexy Shirtless Manly Awards goes to...

Ian as the official host, starts the competition by introducing himself "welcome to first annual sexy shirtless manly awards! I'll be your host and this is my partner Spencer" Spencer waves his hand, he remains stiff and emotionless throughout Ians speeches. Their commentator table where at the side closely next to the stage with a catwalk. Ian introduces the 3 judges "for our judges, let me introduce to you this random person we picked by the road while we were on our way here, miss Kiray Himawari!" the woman stood and waves.

"next, she's the official supplier for the Blitzkrieg Boys! whether it be drugs that we secretly put on Kai to force him to be here or whatever stuff we need. I present to you this mystical person, Rose!"

_Dammit he never gets her name right!_ she smiles and corrected Ian "ahem... it's actually mystic Rose. Make another mistake again and I'll slit your throat while you sleep" Ian could tell she was serious when she stares with dark eyes.

_Eep!_

Ian nervously laughs "ehehehe...umm... Right. For our surprise third judge is, Robert?"

Robert waves his expression remains serious "hello" They didn't even invite him to judge this event, how strange "w-what are you doing here?"

Robert explains the reason he was at this event "I heard Russians were good chess players so I came to Russia to challenge you and I knew you guys were here through your facebook update. Plus your previous judge wasn't feeling well so here I am"

"well I can't argue with that. We are that good in chess" Ian proudly said

Somewhere in Yagry, Johnny was stuck with a date with a girl meant to judge the event at the beach. Johnny was very irritated at the girls constant babbling about Band Camp "there was this one time at band camp..." Robert came all the way to Russia for a stupid game of chess and sacrificed him with this girl 'when this is over. I'm gonna force Robert to eat haggis'

The competition starts

Bryan walks with a swagger on stage as if he's the biggest person in the world. He flexes his muscles towards the fan girls and they started screaming.

"oh my gosh! I LOVE YOU BRYAN!"

"I want you bear your child!"

Bryan blew them kisses and they fainted. The judges scored him 10, 9 and Robert being a massive prick, gave him a 3. Bryan in retaliation gave Robert an offensive middle finger as he exits.

it was Tala's turn, he went out like those professional male models in FashionTV he secretly watch during his private time. His pose was perfect, his body was lean, and he was SPARKLING!

the awed crowd went "oooohhhh...aahhhhhhh" Man putting body glitter was a good idea! the female crowd looks like they were about to orgasm. All those days he spent in the gym was worth it too and he's sure to get that high score. The judges scored him a 10, 10 and because Robert feels generous he gave him a 5. Tala was not pleased, _well fuck you Robert!_

Meanwhile in Japan...

Upstairs in his parent's ramen shop, Kenny manage to locate the online streaming of the shirtless tournament with the help of Facebook.

Tala's official page wrote:

_We will be hosting a shirtless awards. Who's sexier? Me, Bryan or Kai? Click on the Link below!  
_

Tala even uploaded a picture of the three of them wearing their thong swimwear and it generated plenty of Comments and reached a million Likes.

Thank goodness for the Blitzkrieg boys to announce the competition in their Facebook page. The gang watches with much anticipation as their faces all squeeze together since Kenny's laptop was so damn small. Hilary squees "Finally it's Kai's turn!"

Tyson points at the screen "Look! I think that's him" before the screen zooms for Kai to come out...

the screen buffers really, really, REALLY SLOW!

Everyone screams in horror "NOOOOOOO!"

_Buffering 5%..._

_Buffering 8%..._

_Buffering 12%..._

_Host takes too long to respond. Connection Terminated. Please try again_

Everyone vent out their frustration on the poor nerd

"your internet connection sucks Kenny" Ray grabs a fistful of his hair and starts ranting in Chinese.

Tyson starts to shake poor Kenny very violently "Kenny fix that piece of crap! I want to see Kai in a thong!" then he realized that he sounded like he really like shirtless Kai in a non-platonic way, Tyson let go of Kenny and calms down "not that I like him shirtless or anything. I'm just supporting him" he added

"suuure you do Tyson" Kenny said sarcastically

Hilary cries "I wanted to see Kai in his swim wear!" even Max "me too!"

Kenny sighed. What's the big deal of shirtless Kai anyway? Why can't they be normal like him? At least he's normal and has a hobby, like stalking Ming Ming, improve beyblades, find ways not to be socially awkward when near Ming Ming, find loopholes in the law system to make Ming Ming's restraining order on him invalid and completing his Ming Ming shrine.

"fine, let me just restart the router and-"

"DO IT NOW!"

Kenny quickly did so and the screen was already loading fast much to the excitement of his friends. When it was finally done, the screen was focused on the judges score boards. Kai was given a 10, 10 and even more shockingly Robert gave him a 10. PERFECT SCORE! Kai was declared a winner and before they present him a trophy, Kai was already gone.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" they were screaming not because Kai have won. It's because they didn't have the chance to see him strut in his sexy swimwear and they probably never get the chance to see Kai in his beach wear ever again.

Ian asks why Robert gave Kai a ten and Robert responds with amazement "I have never seen a man who manages to make every woman present having their ovaries exploded in this event, to be quite frank I didn't even think that was possible. Just take a look at my fellow judges" he points at the two female judges who looked like they just had the best sex in their life.

"So, can I still judge for next year?"

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**(A/N): Readers are you suffering from severe blood loss? No? GOOD! but if ever I draw a crack doujin out of this or someone who could draw better, you will need a blood donor. So, what do you want for the next chapter? Any request?**

**Time to answer the Reviewers**

**Kiray Himawari: why YES! that's my intention from the very start mwuahahahaha!**

**XxxGothicButterflySpiritxxX - You want a scene of shirtless Kai feeding a cat? I'll write it down! I just need a perfect scene to go with it.**

**to all who Reviewed: Thank you for loving this fic. Do you want more shirtless Kai fun? **


	7. Reality TV? Hell naw!

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Hello my adorable readers with tolerable patience, I got good news and bad news!  
The good news is : here's an update  
The bad news: I'm going to be super busy with work and writing class **_**(gawd I suck in actual literature!)**_

**Have a fun time reading**

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**Chapter 6: Reality TV? Hell naw!**

Camera men…

CAMERA MEN EVERYWHERE!

They are all over the household and follows each member of the Blitzkreig boys. What the heck is going on? Kai woke up one morning and found several studio equipment being move around by studio employees. To get to the bottom of this, Kai looks for the red head because he has questions needed to be answered. He found Tala with a bunch of business bigwigs and their lawyers. Kai taps him on the shoulder; Tala turns and excused himself so he and Kai can talk in private.

Kai demanded an answer "what's going on here?"

"Remember the competition yesterday? It was such an online hit these guys wanted to do one of those famous reality shows on TV" If his emotions allow him to over-react, he would do it, Tala can't be serious. At least he's not worse than Tyson and the gang.

"and I just signed the contract! Do you want to know something else?"

"no" Kai deadpans

"the contract says we have to be shirtless around the house"

"…"

"plus, there will be cameras everywhere" he gave a pause, making sure Kai will hear the last part "even the bathroom" The word echoes inside Kai's head

_Bathroom…_

_Cameras…_

_Bathroom and cameras…_

Everyone will get to see not just shirtless Kai but a whole body of, delicious, jaw dropping, seizure and nose bleed inducing naked goodness. Imagine the legion upon legions of fan girls (and closeted Kai fan boys) starts stalking him. That thought alone terrifies him.

In a matter of seconds

Kai carrying his luggage was struggling towards the door, the rest of the Russian team tries to pull him back and talk him out of it to change his mind. Tala was not a least bit concerned "great! More screen time for me"

Ian "but Kai you're our main star!" Tala disagrees "hey!"

Spencer "what he said"

Ian starts to brake in tears "That girl will from the beach will kill me!" no one really cared.

"I love you Kai! Ever since I saw you shirtless and touched your body" Brian suddenly blurted out loudly. Everyone stops to turn and look at him even Kai. There was silence, a really awkward silence.

Tala broke the silence "awkwaaaaard"

A random tv crew with a seal costume screamed "GAAAAAAAY!"

This was a shocking revelation, Brian's feeling was finally out in the open for everyone to hear and enough reason for Kai to get the hell out. Kai was wrong, staying in Russia was far worse than Tyson and the gang, at least they are not crazy as these Russians. So back in Japan it is!

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(**A/N): I have several ideas in my messed up head for future chapters and I'm going to post it here in case I forgot. Here are the Titles and short summaries:**

"**Shirtless Kai in art class"** – Kai is used as a model for his friends art class

"**Dr. Emily is definitely not **_**feeling up**_** shirtless Kai! She's just checking him for medical reasons"** – Emily makes a lot of excuse just to feel up shirtless Kai.

"**Oh no! not you too Mr. D!"** – Even Mr. Dickenson is not immune

"**Tyson is really in denial"** – Tyson has been spending way too much time with Kai lately.

**If you guys have any Ideas to suggest no matter how silly it may sound, that would be GREAT. Much love to you all!**


	8. Shirtless Kai in art class

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Thank you for putting up with my nonsense. Why am I saying this? because this chapter is just crazy and full of crack. Have fun!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Shirtless Kai in art class

Kai wondered why he even bothered coming home to Japan. He could just stay at his grandfather's mansion, hide there, lock himself in is room or basement and live like a hermit but NO. The mansion needs to be fumigated according to their butler and it would take weeks for the house to be safe and pest free. Kai is stuck sleeping over at Tyson's house again.

Asking to stay at Tyson's was a bad idea. If Kai wanted to be left alone for one night, he must volunteer as a model for Tyson and Hilary's art class. With no other options left, Kai agreed. As long as it's only Tyson, Hilary and a few of their classmates enrolling Art lessons.

The next day

Nobody told him he has to go NUDE!

"No way"

Hilary tries to reason with Kai with a straight face, if she was smiling and Kai would notice then her dream of painting nude Kai will never come true. "Kai you have to understand. We are doing this for-" she makes a dramatic sound "AAART!"

Kai wasn't convinced "No"

Tyson supported Hilary. He did this not because he has deep hidden affections for shirtless Kai, he was only doing it for Art and no he's not in denial "it's true! all famous artworks are nude! I watched the History Channel"

"No"

Tyson and Hilary starts begging and showing Kai sad puppy dog eyes "Pleeaaaaaase?" If only the two of them happened to be cute kittens giving him those sad cute eyes, he would do it. Kai sighs in defeat "Fine"

"Yay!"

"As long as I'm not completely naked"

his two friends mentally curse 'dammit!'. There was no any other solution, so painting Kai shirtless it is.

Class finally started and Kai was standing at the center, wearing only his boxers as instructed by the teacher, he was surrounded by many familiar faces. Aside from Tyson and Hilary there was Max, Ray, Mariah, Mr. Dickenson _(THE HELL?), _Julia, her brother Raul, and Max's mom. The room felt cold all of a sudden as Kai feels naked as ever even when he's wearing only his plain black boxers. He gave each one of them questioning glares.

Kai already knew what was his friends are after so Kai shifted his gaze on the old chairman, Mr. Dickenson "what? can't an old man like me at least have a hobby?" Nope! Mr. Dickenson is no Pedophile. No siree!

Fine, Mr. Dickenson has legitimate reasons. Kai stares at Julia, the Spanish redhead gave him a wink and whispers inaudibly to what seems to be very vulgar. It was obvious, she wants to get in his pants. Her brother? Raul caught his gaze and waves at him "Hi Kai! I was definitely not threatened by my sister to be here"

Poor kid, Kai could see the younger siblings' face says _'help me!'_. His attention was now at Max's hot mom, Judy. The blonde older woman blush lightly as she locked eyes at the young teen with the most magnificent looking abs. "I'm just here to bond with my son Max"

Fair enough

then she later adds something she would most likely regret "I'm definitely not here because I find you attractive er... no..ummm... Nevermind!" Max's jaw hit the floor, he was in shock. She likes Kai too? Oh no! his mom is joining the I-love-shirtless-Kai club and she's surely win Kai's affection and Kai is not even of legal age.

"oh my god! mom seriously?" Max exclaimed

After art class finally ended and Kai with his fast ninja skills. He disappears before everyone could look for him. But it was okay, they get to paint shirtless Kai in his sexy boxers.

Tyson's painting sucks, it looked like a 5 year old drew it and the same goes with Max.

Hilary's painting was her marrying Kai, he was shirtless and she even got the details of Kai's muscles right. Oh joy! she will treasure this in her bedroom wall.

Because Maria has never seen Kai shirtless and wearing boxers. She suffered massive blood loss when she caught a glimpse of his wonderful shirtless body and when her eyes gaze lower to his groin area- oh he was just magnificent! Ray has to take her to the hospital.

Mr. Dickenson's painting was private. After he was done painting he quickly hid his canvas and left. Whatever he was painting, nobody wants to know.

Julia painted an obscene picture of her and Kai in various, interesting positions. Her brother feels like blinding himself after he saw his sister's painting.

Judy drew a nude Kai despite the fact that Kai wore boxers. She even exaggerated Kai's body parts making them bigger and muscular, Kai's face was more mature like an adult and his privates was... she really likes them big.

Max was even more shocked when he looks at his mother's work "Mom! that's just messed up!"

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**(A/N): Okay, wow. Whatever was in my head you can kill me now. Hahahaha now what's next on my list?  
**


	9. Mr Dickenson is corrupting a minor!

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Hello readers! As you know, I am now recovering (yey!) This chapter might be a little off and less funny but I'll bounce back with the next update. See yah!**

**The shirtless misadventure never ends!**

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Chapter 8: Mr. Dickenson is corrupting a minor!

It's nice having to stay and chat with a mature adult. Thank the heavens they haven't decided to take away good ol' reliable Mr. Dickenson. Yes, the old man was nice to let Kai stay for a while and away from his lecherous-shirtless Kai crazy friends. His only complaint was that Mr. Dickenson likes touching him and gives him surprise hugs. There were times Kai would feel annoyed whenever Mr. Dickenson would ask him for a picture of him shirtless so he can give it to his sick niece. Kai did that several times already and grew suspicious if the old man really sends those pictures to his niece and if he did, why does she need that much?

Tyson and the gang however didn't like it one bit. So they setup a meeting and gathered the entire 'We Love Shirtless Kai' club.

It has been hours and still no one came up with a good plan. Tyson slams his fist on the table "there has got to be a way to get rid of Mr. Dickenson!" everyone nods, then Tyson added "I'm only saying this because I'm his friend and I am not attracted to him" Tyson was still in denial of his obvious attraction to his team captain.

Max suggested an idea "we could investigate and use what we can find against Mr. Dickenson"

And the plan was set into action!

They followed Mr. Dickenson. They watched him from his work, they watched him sleep, they watched him bathed (ew!), they watched him eat and watch him go to the doctor for a prostate exam. It was a horrible experience but totally worth it! They gathered enough evidence to use against the old chairman.

One day, they cornered the old man in his home. The BBA chairman was sitting in a single wooden chair being investigated by the young teens. "why are you doing this?" Mr. Dickens asks, confused.

"Admit it Mr. D! you want Kai" Tyson answered

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"I saw your painting"

Mr. Dickenson gasps, the color of his face was now in deep red. He was so embarrassed "oh dear"

"tell us your dark secret" said Ray.

Mr. Dickenson gave up. There was no point of denying the truth "My reason of painting Kai was influenced from admiration when I saw him shirtless" He admitted and everyone agrees with him. He continued "In my professional opinion, he's a fine specimen of manhood" he said proudly.

Hilary was impressed by his honest opinion "oh that is so true Mr. D"

The old man trailed off "Young, tender flesh, wrapped around taut muscles, very flexible bone structure, lean six pack abs, firm thighs..."

Tyson stares at the blushing old man, his left eye was twitching "uhhhh… I think that's enough" Tyson said. They have confiscated the painting and Tyson decided to keep it after winning Rock-Paper-Scissors. He would put it in his bedroom wall because it would add style and not because he could use it to adore and kiss it goodnight. Heck no, Tyson does not have any romantic crush on Kai.

So the very next day Kai was stuck at Tyson's home again. Kai couldn't care less, Mr. Dickenson was starting to creep him out anyway.

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**(A/N): Mr. Dickenson still has the pictures he took from Kai. Yep, he's now a creepy old man in my story.  
**

**If you have any suggestions feel free to ask**


	10. Dr Emily with fake PhD

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**This chapter has EmilyxKai not so romantic moments. Poor Kai, everyone is after you.  
**

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Chapter 9: Physical Examination with Doctor Emily

Today was the day.

Every year the students in Kai's school are required for a Physical examination. It is recommended by the school board that every student get a full physical exam at least once a year to note any changes in the students' health status and there is no way one should skip it or they'll be facing punishments.

Kai came last and sat down on the examination chair next to the schools' physician. The doctor wasn't here yet; Kai got bored and looks around for a bit. A minute later the doctor was finally back "Hello there. I presume your name is Hiwatari Kai?" she said while adjusting her glasses and writing on her chart.

Kai blinks, he took a look closer. He was sure he met her somewhere, this person looked very familiar. Orange hair, Deep blue eyes, eye glasses… What was her name again? Emmy? Elli? Melly? Emily!

"Emily?" Kai said in a surprise tone

The doctor arched an eyebrow "who is this Emily that you speak of? Never heard of her" she sits down

"let's proceed by checking your blood pressure" she readies the Sphygmomanometer and ask Kai to bend his left elbow on the table. Kai didn't cooperate and remains skeptical if this person is really Emily impersonating as a doctor or someone else who happens to look like her. Kai keeps staring at the doctor, hoping his intense glare would make her panic and tell the truth like he always does to everyone. But this doctor remained a professional and continued with Kai's physical exam. She wraps around the cuff on Kai's upper arm and made sure it fit snugly. She inserted the head of the stethoscope below the cuff and slowly placed the ear pieces of the stethoscope in her ears. She starts pumping the rubber bulb, looks at the pressure, took notes and later asks Kai to take off his shirt.

When the young teen hesitated, Emily..errr… the good doctor reassures him "you don't have to be shy, I'm a professional. I'm only doing this for Medical reasons"

Yep, medical reasons. Kai has nothing to worry about.

Still eying her, Kai agrees and slowly unbuttons his school uniform and removes his shirt. The female doctor looks in awe, her mind drifted into a beautiful daydream of her and her sexy shirtless patient. Kai notice she was staring at his chest for what seemed to be very long, he cleared his throat to get her attention and she snaps back to reality.

Apologizing, she proceeds with the exam. And placed the head of the stethoscope on his chest and ask him to breathe deeply. Kai did a few breathing and there was a problem "I think my stethoscope is broken so I'll just place my head on your chest and listen to your breathing"

Awkwardly, Kai didn't complain and let the doctor do her business. She place her head closely as possible on his chest and listens to his heart beat out a quick but steady rhythm.

deep inside, Emily squeals with joy as she manages to get this close to touching/feeling shirtless Kai. Her mind went wild and kept ranting on like this...

_Oh my god, I'm touching shirtless Kai!_

_MMMMmmmmm yeaaaaaah... shirtless Kai smells nice_

_EEEEEEEEE! I'm touching his well toned chest! if only I could slide down a little lower and feel his abs_

_I wanna kiss him! I wanna kiss shirtless Kai so bad! and after that maybe some kinky school sex! oh heavens YES!_

Because she has been checking his heartbeat more longer than necessary, Kai was guessing she was feeling him up on purpose and used the word 'medical purposes' as an excuse. He was pretty sure this impostor of a doctor is Emily York from the American team, if only he has proof.

In the doctors' small clinic, there was another door that stores cleaning materials. Inside the broom closet, five people where stuck and tied up inside

"So what's your excuse?" said a female voice

"oh y'know, impersonate a doctor and use it as an excuse to see Kai shirtless"

"me too!"

"too bad Emily outsmarted us"

the fourth voice belonging to a male panics "guys I can't hold it in any longer! I'm gonna FART!" he rips up a loud, smelly fart that quickly invaded the poor victims' nostrils.

Everyone screams "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" in their panicked struggle and primal survival instinct, they broke the door. This caught the attention of Kai and the fake doctor, they both stare at the direction where four people lay on the ground gasping for fresh air and the other one keeps apologizing. Kai recognize them, it was Tyson, Hilary, Max, Ray and the REAL doctor.

Emily fled the scene bringing with her Kai's shirt so she can treasure his intact manly scent.

Tyson's excuse for being there was because he heard Emily was imposing as a doctor and tries to stop her but was tied up instead. He was not stalking Kai nor has any romantic feelings for him. Surprisingly, Kai believes him. The others tried to use the same excuse too but with no success, Kai already put them in his list of 'Perverts' plus Emily too.

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**(A/N): Next chapter will be TysonxKai. Yay! male bonding with Tyson. I wanted to include Boris but doing so would make everything creepy and WRONG.  
**

**Time to answer the Reviewers**

**akin-'to38: **Kababayan! Salamat sa Review. Yes yes, I will include your request in adding team BEGA and the rest of the White Tigers. I will need wild ideas for a perfect scenario.


	11. Bonding time with Tyson

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

**Get a load of this KaixTyson shippers! I also used a meme 'Ooh mister X'**

**Poor Kai, even Guys wants you**

* * *

Chapter 10: Bonding with Tyson

The boys from the American team are very concerned about the recent behavior of their team mate Emily. All day long the only word they always hear from her mouth was…

_Sexy shirtless Kai_

_MMmmmm shirtless Kai_

_Porn super star shirtless Kai_

And that shirt she always brings. She would hug it, smell it, and worship it and stuff he doesn't want to mention what she does with it in the privacy of her bedroom. Seriously no one wants to know.

Michael had enough "I don't see the big deal about Kai being shirtless!" he was an athlete after all, tall, well build lean muscles, has adoring fan girls and his awesome hair! There is no way Kai is that ridiculously sexy than him but if Emily was easily smitten by Kai's shirtlessness compared to him whom his female team mate always seen him shirtless in every physical exams then Kai must be…gasp! Dare he say it?

A Sex God

Eddy commented on how ridiculous it was to claim Kai as a sex god "dude, your imagination gets wilder everyday"

"I need to see it" Michael silently whispered to himself, the rest of his team barely hears him "what?"

"I need to see it myself!" the baseball athlete finally declares, almost scaring the heck out of his friends by his sudden action and later they got drag by Michael so they can learn and observe Kai from afar.

Somewhere…

Tyson and Kai were in a park, doing what both do best, engage in an intense Beybattle. It was so intense, both boys took off their shirt. They practically broke the bey dish and starts running around like they did when they fought for the championship. But this was even better since both of them are shirtless. It was a good thing Dragoon keeps slapping the hell out of Tyson whenever he lost tract and stares at his sexy shirtless team captain.

Team Allstarz watches from afar, observing from the bushes. Michael stares and mentally notes his observation. For some reason he got lost in a trance at the sight of his manly shirtlessness and his heart skipped a beat "I think I'm starting to understand how Emily feels"

"well DUH! He's _breathtaking_" said an unknown female voice. Alongside with them was the official shirtless Kai fan club. They ask what the American team was doing here "Are you guys spying on Kai?" Hilary, the president of the club asked.

Before Michael could answer, they heard a large splash.

They look towards a fountain with two people in it. Apparently in their awesome battle, Tyson accidentally slipped on a discarded banana peel and loss his balance. Kai was backed a little and forgets that behind him was a fountain and Tyson was losing balance and move forward towards him. Thank goodness it wasn't shallow. Both got wet and their faces were so dangerously close, literally touching. Tyson could not believe what just happened.

He kissed a boy! By accident… a delicious, wonderful accident.

Tyson kissed a boy and he LIKED IT!

Hope shirtless Kai won't mind it…Mmmmm wet shirtless Kai.

The scene was too much to bear! First they got to see wet sexy shirtless Kai, Tyson the adorable submissive lover of this potential pairing and he was on top of Kai, Kissing.

Meanwhile, people witnessing this event was so turned on

Women were ripping their clothes and inappropriately moaned loudly "Ooh Kai!"

Men turning gay "Ooh Kai!"

It was amazing!

Rick who was immune tries his best to recover his team mate back to being straight with epic fail "Michael snap out of it!"

"We're losing him!"

They both scream in despair "Nooooooo!"

Michael was now a shirtless Kai fanboy "he's…he's so damn attractive"

Hilary has conflicted feelings of either she's now a Yaoi fangirl or jealous of the fact Tyson stole Kai's first kiss "I can't decide!"

Ray was definitely jealous

Max openly declares Tyson as his love rival

Raul has to restrain his sister as she attempts to strangle Tyson for kissing Kai

The kiss quickly ended and both boys quickly separated. "Kai it was totally an accident!" Tyson STILL denies that he fancies Kai in a romantic way and Kai still trust him a little "yeah… an accident". Kai later avoided Tyson for a few days and considered adding him in his 'List of Perverts'.

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**(A/N): If I wrote a KaixTyson fanfic, Tyson is totally the UKE of their relationship. Next future chapters I will include a request from my reader to add Team Bega and the whole White Tigers team hmmmm…. Should I make a kinky BrooklynxKai moment XP hihihi**

**Time to answer the Reviewers**

**MisstiqueRose****:** There you go! Now I got the whole American team involved bwuahahaha! Thanks for reading


	12. Brooklyns' Pool party part 1

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

Y'all want a BrooklynxKai chapter and I made one!

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Chapter 12: Brooklyns' Pool party (part 1)

Hiro came home with wonderful news

"we are all invited to Brooklyn's birthday party"

There was silence. In truth, nobody likes Brooklyn. In fact they don't like him so much as to attend his birthday since it's going to be boring and it meddles their ogling shirtless Kai time. Not that Kai is shirtless all the time but they do fantasize him a whole freakin' lot. There were a lot of negative reactions from the teenagers regarding the birthday boy.

"I don't like Brooklyn" Ray straightforwardly said

"he almost killed Kai!" screamed Hilary, it was the number one reason why they hated Brooklyn.

Max make it sound he's disinterested "his birthday is probably boring"

Hiro tries to reason with them and used plan B "Mr. Dickenson said it's mandatory. If you won't go then your team will be expelled"

"Brooklyn's the worst!" Tyson yelled angrily knowing they were force to go on a boring party.

With a sly grin, Hiro added "did I mention it's going to be a pool party"

Frowns turned into smiles. Just imagine, Kai in his swimming outfit and they can get to see him in all his shirtless glory. All the negative moods changed to joy. Remembering his first kiss with shirtless Kai. Tyson has to hide an inappropriate boner with his hat, hoping nobody would notice.

With a chance to see Kai shirtless again, Max was ecstatic "wow! Brooklyn's party will be the best ever!"

Ray even forgets why he hated Brooklyn in the first place "I love Brooklyn!"

"yeah! A pool party!" screamed Hilary and imagined Kai in his swimming trunks. Even better, Kai looks sexier when wet and maybe he still has that speedo thong Tala gave him during his short stay at Russia and then they would hug him and feel his wonderful muscled body, and then, and then …

With their imaginations running wild, their nose exploded like a volcano and blood splashed on to poor Hiro. Mixed with surprise and shock, Tyson's older brother looks at them with serious concern over the teen's severe blood loss "Oh my god! What the hell just happened with you guys!?" he quickly checks each lying teens' pulse to see if they are still alive.

Tyson was the first to recover and slowly stands up "bro, if I tell you. You wouldn't understand"

"understand what?"

"Kai. Shirtless. Think about it"

Hiro thought for a moment but the idea never hit him "I don't see a big deal about Kai being shirtless"

Tyson shook his head and took pity on his older brother as he put both his hands on Hiros' shoulder "soon bro. You will be enlightened... soon"

something caught Hiros' eye "Tyson"

"Yes?"

"how the hell did you manage to hang your hat in your groin area?"

**Brooklyns birthday pool party**

Since this was his very first big birthday party with all the beyblading teams invited (against their will) Brooklyn was so excited because someone special is going to be here in this most special event of his life... This author is not talking about Garland.

Although, Garland couldn't help but be jealous of Kai.

_Earlier sometime ago..._

_Brooklyn finally got his own Facebook account. Excited as he was to get started, he found a particular link from Ming Ming that directed to Tala's online streaming. Curious on what the Russians were doing, he clicked on the link and a video pop-up appeared and showed a video of the Russians having a competition._

_The Shirtless Manly Award!_

_It was at that very moment Brooklyn saw a glorious sight of Kai and his genius brain stops functioning. __Brooklyn could not take his eyes away from the screen and ignored his nose bleeding "I... I think I might be smitten by his manliness"._

_Garland entered his room and ask what was Brooklyn's plans for his birthday "So, what are you planning to do for your birthday?" he notice blood coming down from his friends' nose "umm... you have a little blood on your nose"_

_Brooklyn was so preoccupied with the video he didn't hear the part Garland talks about his bleeding nose "I know what I want for my birthday"_

_"you do?"_

_Brooklyn smiles devilishly with a plan in mind "oh yes indeed"_

_._

_._

_._

To be continued in Part 2...

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**(A/N): It's really helpful to keep sending your Ideas/Request if you want faster updates. Thanks!**

**And now to answer the Reviewers:**

**Amisgirl: **Oh I will definitely make a scene for that ;)

**Lhune and Prima-Axis: **BrooklynxKai tease on the next chapter!


	13. Brooklyns' Pool party part 2

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

Hello everyone and welcome to part 2 of Brooklyn's Pool Party. What interesting situation would Kai end up? And even more interesting, there's jealousy in the air! _*giggles evilly*_

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Chapter 12: Brooklyns' Pool party (part 2)

Brooklyn the birthday boy greeted everyone he approached with his sickening stepford smile. This made everyone so damn scared that they have to force themselves to smile and act nice towards him.

"are you having a good time?" Brooklyn asks towards the smallest member of the White Tigers team.

Kevin faked his enthusiasm "why yes! I'm having a GREAT TIME!"

"that's nice"

After Brooklyn took off, Kevin cried and it was Lee who comforted him "there, there. He's gone now"

Kevin bawls "I was so scared!"

Brooklyn looks around, hoping he would get the chance to see Kai. He really wanted to see him all shirtless, speedo thong wearing, and sexy wet, drool worthy, muscular piece of man meat.

But NO

All his shirtless Kai fantasy was crushed at what he saw

Kai was wearing a white T-shirt and plain black swimming trunks.

This totally ruined his birthday mood! But an idea struck and Brooklyn smiles evilly. Since it's his birthday, he can do whatever he wants! AND GET AWAY WITH IT! He can have control to anything! All he has to do is to order Kai to take off his god-awful unsexy clothes and change into something more Porn star worthy. All he need now is to get a scandalous piece of clothing and he happens to have one 'at times like these I'm so glad I'm such a genius'.

"Kai honey, Brooklyn is looking this way and he's smiling all creepy like" Tyson said

Kai nods "hn. I'm pretty sure he- wait, did you just call me honey?" Kai stares at Tyson with disbelief.

Ray with his sharp hearing overheard them "yeah Tyson. Did you just call Kai, HONEY?" Tyson could tell Ray was really jealous at him ever since he accidentally kissed Kai during their spar. Tyson mentally slaps himself for the accidental slip of the tongue. He quickly finds an excuse "what? No, no, no! what I meant to say was…" he glance at the food table "I'm getting some honey iced tea! Be right back" Tyson quickly move out the table and headed towards the food. 'phew, man that was close!'

Hilary and Max were planning to get Kai shirtless again. But their only problem was, how?

"we could get him wet again" Max suggested

"No, Kai's too smart for that trick"

"oh" Max looks down sadly "if only there was a way"

"hey Max is that your mom?" Hilary pointed out at the blonde adult talking to an orange haired teen.

Both women were currently on a competition over who's breast would Kai prefer more and this was not entirely a friendly conversation between both females.

"I'm sure Kai would rather pick perky boobs over stretch marks any day" Emily boasted, wearing her best orange two piece bikini.

The older woman didn't take offense but instead has the advantage over this breast debate "OH? is that the sound of fear in your voice? Kai would rather have his hands on a womanly boob over a training bra pad"

Emily didn't want to go down that easily "Looks like gravity already has its hands on you Ms. Judy. Given a choice, I bet Kai would go for a new pair over a worn-out pair"

"wanna bet?"

Minding his business, Kai was confronted by two women and their breast. "what the?"

"C'mon Kai, come touch these. You know you want to."

"No, Kai! Don't listen to her! It's these you want! Young, firm boobs! C'mon grab these! They're calling to you." From across the pool the men were jealous and comment on how Kai is one lucky bastard.

Right now, Kai is now a victim as his shirt was used as a human tug-of-war.

_**Emily and Judy **_

_**vs. **_

_**Ray, Max and Hilary**_

"You're harassing our team mate!"

"He's going to be my future husband!" screamed Emily

Max berated his mother "Mom! I can't believe you would do this"

"I'm a woman Max. I have urges and your dad isn't doing a good job at that"

This little piece of information horrified Max "MOM!"

With all the pulling from both sides, Kai's shirt eventually rips apart. Exposing his beautiful, muscular upper body and all the sneaky uninvited fan girls rejoiced from afar. Everyone stops whatever it is their doing to look and admire at the awesome… shirtless Kai.

Hiro and Garland drop their drink

Tyson got another boner

Girls fainting

Men questioning their sexuality

Meanwhile…

Brooklyn finally found the perfect swimming outfit for Kai.

It was a **G-string thong**

Oh happy day!

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**(A/N): Watch out for PART 3 guys. It's really helpful to keep sending your Ideas/Request if you want faster updates. Thanks!**

**And now to answer the Reviewers:**

**Enna:** POOF! A little TysonxKai moment. I may put more in part 3

**akin-'to38: **did I got Hiro and Garland's reaction right? hehehe

**Amisgirl:** you said you want a scene of Judy and Emily fighting over Kai. Hellz yeah! Thanks for contributing an idea to make this chapter crazy XD


	14. Brooklyns' Pool party part 3

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine. Also, I borrowed lines from 'The Legend of Ron Burgundy'.**

**Hello there! I know I mention in my profile about my reasons for not updating fast enough but today I got time to sit and relax. Ahhhh... sweet time to write my humor stories **_***hears crashing sounds***_** the hell was that!?**

**I also did mention sometime ago to update 'No sex for a month'. Well I had it in a very rough script and some parts didn't make any sense and the jokes completely suck. I'm guessing it must be the side-effects this anti-seizure meds i'm taking. **

**Anyways, it was nice to finally update this story. I hope you will enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Brooklyn skipped merrily down the hall, singing a song while still holding the G-string thong meant for Kai "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. Kai is so gonna wear this thong! oh happy birthday to me!"

Meanwhile, at the pool area...

They all got the chance to see Kai's awesome shirtless upper body and because of that, every female got a mini orgasm while most of the men can't help but wonder about the big deal of seeing shirtless Kai. Although a small part of them wanted to go near and admire him in a safe and not suspiciously gay about Kai distance. The dual haired sexy shirtless teen however finds it creepy and they look more like they're ogling at him rather than giving curious innocent stares. Sure, they were all straight but Kai was really, REALLY that ridiculously sexy when shirtless despite not even doing much besides being good looking and simply being there.

Kai can't help but curse at his unfortunate predicament "shit", he murmured.

Because right now, the atmosphere around him feels dangerous as everyone was starting to show an interest which apparently involves blushing, drooling, and having dirty thoughts some of which are so disgusting that this author refuses to write. His instincts tells him to 'get the hell out now!', his other instinct however has other ideas. It simply tells him to 'Kill everyone and bathe in their blood'. Kai can't decide but if someone starts to touch him in his private place all hell will break loose and choosing the second options sounded better. Besides, being put in a mental asylum was way more comforting than being in prison.

And then there was a sudden strong gust of wind

The mood quickly changes when everyone's attention was on a large helicopter arriving, inside were people holding video cameras and four Russians slowly descending down on a helicopter hook ladder. Kai cursed even more, loudly this time. Nobody hears him anyways due to the noise the helicopter was making.

When the Russians finally made it to solid ground bringing with them their film crew. Garland couldn't help but ask "what the hell are you all wearing?" he pointed at their questionable clothing, it was the same swim wear they wore last time "you look like male strippers!" he looks at Ian and Spencer, he cringed at the sight of them "except you two. You generally look awful"

Ignoring his two team mates hurt expression, Bryan corrected Garland "Wrong! we look like High end strippers. Ones' that politicians and celebrities would hire" he said proudly and sounded awesome right now. He looks around for Kai and found him. He smiles 'oh good he's shirtless' his eyes goes lower and there was disappointment Kai was wearing shorts, Bryan cried a little inside.

All cameras were suddenly all on Kai and it was Tala doing all the directing "Alright, I want a close up to his face and torso" he goes on and on about several instructions to the film crew. Eventually, they were all invading Kai's personal space.

Kai was getting irritated "Tala, what the hell is going on?"

"we were invited"

"I'm talking about THIS" Kai gestured towards the film crew and later swats Bryan's hands away from attempting to take off his shorts.

Ian explains "oh didn't you know? there were so many fan request about wanting to see you shirtless. At first we had a hard time trying to contact you but then we got invited to Brookyn's birthday party and since it says everyone is invited, we figured you'd be here".

Tala smiled evilly "And now, since we're here. How about losing those unattractive shorts Kai?"

ah dammit not this again! "No"

Ian pleaded "please, for the fans?"

Kai was defiant "I said no"

"not even for a few minutes?" said Hilary and so does the rest of the shirtless Kai fan club The other straight males however just stood there, all useless and way too busy being mesmerized by shirtless Kai.

"Lee am I gay for liking Kai?" asked Kevin

"uhh...no, of course not! this is Kai. It's totally normal to have a man crush on him"

"oh, thank god!" screamed Tyson, overhearing their conversation.

"I'll even have sex with you Kai!" and this was said none other than Max's mom, Judy. This made his son completely speechless and utterly horrified.

"I love Kai!" screamed Micheal

and less forget, Julia was there "I love Kai too!"

"We're gonna have babies together!"

"that's genetically impossible. You're a freakin' BOY!" yelled Emily

While what she said was true, Bryan held back tears "I know!". He then goes closer to Kai, very uncomfortably close, his face looked determined as if he has something to confess, like having a deep dark secret waiting to be exposed. "Look, the bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time in Japan Kai. For me, you are still a member of the Blitzkreig Team"

Kai stares

"We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being near you"

Ooookay? Kai took a few steps back away from Bryan.

"I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!"

Majority objected at the idea of Bryan and Kai living together "OH HELL NAW!". A massive royal rumble started as everyone fight for Kai's love even though Kai didn't want to start a relationship in any one of these freaks.

"By the way has anyone seen Kai?" One of the film crew said, they got so busy concentrating on recording everyone fighting over Kai that they lost their main objective. Tala wasn't so happy at all!

"Idiots! don't just stand there, find him!"

Meanwhile...

Brooklyn conveniently locked both himself and Kai in a private room.

"strip"

.

.

.

To be Continued...

Gee, what would these two do alone in a room? I wonder...

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**(A/N):** If you guys have any Ideas/Suggestions, feel free to ask. Don't need to be shy, Heck, even **MisstiqueRose **asked for the Russians and I was like_ "that might be crazy enought to make this chapter insane! sure I'll put them here"._ Sometimes I just like to spoil you all... well sometimes...

**Ideas for future chapters**

Kai visits Zeo - He's a robot, it can't be possible for a robot to fall in love.

Kai and Boris - Boris has formulated a potion that will repel all his unwanted stalkers/perverts but for a price...

**And now to answer the reviewers**

**Fifitheflowertot****: **Thank you for reviewing and since you're wondering where I get my ideas, all I can say I like to surround myself with funny people (not clowns though, they freak me out)


	15. Brooklyns' Pool party FINAL

Discalimer: I own this retarded fanfic. The Characters are not mine and same goes to the songs that are mentioned here in this chapter.

* * *

**Brooklyn's Pool Party Part 4 FINAL**

It was only the two of them...

Alone...

He was with Kai...

A sexy shirtless Kai!

MMMmmmm... Yeeessss

BEST. DAY. EVER!

It was the happiest, joyful, sexy day and to make the birthday boy's day completely awesome, all he need was to add some sexy music on the background and try to coerce Kai to do some dirty dancing with him. Brooklyn just need to find the perfect music the set the mood right. He turns on his music player and started searching for songs.

_**Switch**_

_Sex! Sex! Sex on the beach!_

'Nah! were not even in the beach'

_**Switch**_

_I'm in love with a strippeeeerrrr_

'Nope'

_**Switch**_

_shot! shot! shot! shot! shot! shot! EVERYBODY!_

'I'm not even into drinking'

_**Switch**_

_OP! _

_OP! _

_OP! _

_OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!_

'Heck no!'

_**Switch**_

While Brooklyn was way too busy searching for a song, Kai slowly looks around for an exit but to his luck, he was stuck with only a window for an exit. That certain window happens to be where everyone was looking for him and there's no way he's ever going back there with those crazy perverts. He has better chances of survival if he stayed in this room with a psychotic beyblader named Brooklyn and do as what he freakin' wishes.

"Strip"

'The hell?'

Did Brooklyn just asked him to what he thinks he's asking him?

_check it out  
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!  
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!  
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!  
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah, yeah!_

_I'm sexy and I know it_

Finally finding a suitable background music, Brooklyn got his questionable 'thong' for Kai and his camera ready "Kai I want you to strip and wear this for me". Kai looks at the window and then back at Brooklyn's grinning maniacal face, He looks at the window again for second thoughts. Surely they'll rip him apart once he got down and Bryan just started to freak him out more than Tyson or that sex crazy Julia. So maybe it's better if he hangs out with Brooklyn for awhile. But there is one thing he wants to make it clear for the genius blader.

"there is no way I'm wearing a skimpy thong"

"please?"

"No"

"but it's my birthday"

"the hell should I care?"

Kai could sense he made the birthday boy angry. Brooklyn was visibly angry, so angry, Kai could feel the negative energy surrounding the red haired teen. While expecting a violent outburst coming from Brooklyn, Kai was confronted by what seems to be a very wimpy, pathetic attempt of throwing a fit kind of angry. It was like watching a child throwing tantrums in a toy store because the parents refused to buy the expensive toy or other reasons.

Brooklyn wailed loudly "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH H!"

Kai tries his best to calm him down "hey c'mon, don't be like that"

Brooklyn weakly threw a chair at him, it was so weak, it only flew a few centimeters and it was really lame. Kai thought if Brooklyn keeps crying loudly enough for everyone at the poolside to hear, he could be in trouble or even worse, He can't imagine the nightmare it would bring. Swallowing his pride, Kai did the impossible...

Instantly, it made Brooklyn to literally shut up in seconds.

The feeling of Kai's muscled upper body on his face

his strong muscular arms was around him

he smells so manly

Brooklyn was completely red all over 'Oh my god! he's hugging me!'

'Thank god, he finally shut up' Kai sighed.

Just when he thought it was over and Brooklyn finally stopped whining. He could have sworn he could feel a pair of sneaky hands traveling down his back and clutched on his shorts. Gently pulling it down, Kai let go of the hug and protectively tries to pull back his black shorts. The two eventually wrestle.

Meanwhile, everyone was searching for their sexy shirtless love interest.

Bryan "Kai my love! where are you?"

Julia was holding a book "Kai! there are lots of stuff I want to do with you in this book!" it was 50 Shades of Grey, a novel. Her brother even comments it has nothing to do with the color gray.

Tyson "Kai! honey..er..." he hastily corrects himself "where are ya buddy!"

Ray rolled his eyes "Tyson, stop denying it. Everybody KNOWS you're in love with Kai"

Tyson blushes "oh..."

Emily and Judy are still arguing on whose breast Kai would prefer and the two fought it off to a conveniently placed ring, full of mud, and the two wrestle much to the joy of the men watching which it also happens to include Mr. Tate. This later made Max feel that he's the only sane family member left.

Hilary was praying to the sky for a miracle "I know I'm asking too much but could you please make Kai drop off the sky and fall into my arms?"

As if on cue, the window from Brooklyn's room shattered and two teens fell down the pool with a huge splash. To Hilary's joy, Kai was the first one to pop up for air and damn he really look so sexy when he's wet. Hilary stares upwards, she was still in a praying position "THANK YOU!" after thanking the sky, she jumps in the pool and swam towards Kai but she wasn't the only one because everyone soon followed after. They completely ignored Brooklyn's' floating lifeless body.

All Kai could say at his impending doom was "Fuck!". He quickly swam towards the edge of the pool, got out, as he stood, he felt light and breezy. Kai looked down and wondered how Brooklyn managed to made him wear that damn G-string thong.' Seriously, what the fuck?' but it didn't matter because as soon as everyone caught a glimpse of him, they were so stunned.

Hiro even took off his glasses so he can admire and appreciate such marvelous beauty more clearly "I never felt so puny and insignificant in my life!". As usual, everybody suffered massive blood loss and to their annoyance they forgot to take a picture of the only time they get to see Kai in a G-string.

A few minutes later, an ambulance came and the medic has never seen so many people losing so many blood "What the hell happened here?!"

Kai on the other hand went to find someone that would stop this madness

He went to see...

Boris

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(A/N): I'm writing this story on my free time. I know I kinda disappointed everyone from my lack of updates but hey if you keep nagging me about it, I might get an inspiration! except for "No sex for a month" The script still disagrees with me.

**And now to answer the reviewers:**

**akin 'to38****:** It's nice to be back but only for a short while

**MisstiqueRose****: **Don't worry about Bryan, he'll get better...NOT!

**Unknown:** Kai and Boris is next hahahaha! I hope I don't make it too creepy like I did with Mr. Dickenson

**grimnessreaper****: **HAHAHAHAHA..._*coughs*_ Poof! I made your request come true! only crazier and wacky

**fia3striker****: **This story exaggerates solely about Kai being shirtless pretty much like Jacob on Twilight...


	16. Boris you evil bastard

**Discalimer: I own this retarded fanfic. The Characters are not mine and same goes to the song that are mentioned here in this chapter.**

* * *

One surprising day. Kai visited an old enemy, he really didn't have any other choice "I hate to say this but I need your help"

the evil man can't help but grin "Kai I am delighted that you came to me for help"

Kai wondered if dealing with Boris was a good idea. He had plenty of bad history of the man since he was a child but Kai was desperate and one of them was pretty traumatic too. That didn't matter anymore as his life has gone crazy ever since his friends and so does everyone else, saw him shirtless.

"I'm gonna concoct a potion that will drive away your unwanted fan base" this gives Kai some hope, but Boris frowns "but alas! I don't have the money to buy the ingredients needed for your unfortunate situation. It's very expensive Kai" Boris nodded and repeated "very, _very_ expensive". This worries Kai "How will we get such money?". Kai was broke, his grandfather's company hadn't recovered from that Russia fiasco and his grandfather's assets were frozen in the bank. He definitely has no plans to borrow money from loan sharks.

Boris smiles "I know how we get the money", he got a plan and it will surely work as he looks at Kai up and down "and it's gonna be easy money"

Kai really hated his evil smile. 'whatever he's planning it better be good' he said to himself.

Boris set-up a stage and a pole in the middle. He then works on the sound system and the lights "there! That should do it". Kai knew where his demented plan is headed "there is no way I will go there and strip"

The two starts to argue

Boris insist it was a great plan "But you said you needed my help and this is the fastest and only way we will get money"

Kai was not buying it and was hoping for other alternatives "I'm not going there and gyrate to complete strangers"

"fine, have fun being constantly annoyed by your shirtless fan club"

Damn, Kai hates it when he's right. There was no choice, he has to sacrifice his dignity so his nightmare would end. "I'll do it" he muttered

Boris playfully put a hand on his ear pretending he didn't hear him "what's that?"

He was defeated "I said I'll do it"

"wonderfull! Now I want you to take off your shirt at the moment I play the music"

Minutes later...

Kai stood on the stage as Boris focused the lights on him and picks a song for Kai to dance erotically as he instructed. There was plenty of people too,thankfully the adult didn't invite his crazy fan club as Kai was starting to hate them and they were really annoying. Boris picks a song and started playing, Kai was familiar with the beat and mentally moaned 'oh god, not this one'.

_Con los terroristas  
Ey Shake  
Ey Shake  
Ey, Ey, Ey, Ey  
Shake, Ta. Ta  
And do the Harlem Shake_

With no other choice, Kai rips off his shirt and the crowd went wild and threw money. Boris was glad he stationed an ambulance outside just in case someone dies of extreme blood loss. Fans wants to see more so Kai starts to move sexually and more money was thrown. Some were even lucky enough to insert their bills on Kai's loose pants and most of the audience were young, old, male, female and he doesn't believe it but Holy shit the 'we love shirtless Kai club are here'! How the hell did they know there was an underground shirtless Kai strip?

He looks at Boris for questions but all he could give the young man was a shrug saying 'I don't know'_  
_

_Shake, Shake__  
__Ey__  
__Shake, Shake, Shake__  
__Con los terroristas__  
__Ey, Con los terroristas__  
__Ey, Ey_

"Kai I love you!"

"Oh my god! He's so amazing!"

"I'm a man and I am strongly attracted to you. I don't mind being your bitch!" and this was coming from Bryan.

"back off bitch he's mine!"

"oh it's on bitch! It is ON!"

A huge rumble starts in which Kai's fan club started and security can't handle them. Boris quickly went on stage holding a large vacuum and sucks all the remaining bills while Kai ran for cover. Both were separated from the fiasco when Kai went to find him, he found a note.

**_Dear Kai,_**

**_There's no such thing as an anti-pheromone formula and if I do manage to create one, it will not work as you are overwhelmingly full of pheromones. Do you know how hard it is not to touch such a fine young man such as you? If we were alone again and if I had the chance I would-_**

Kai intentionally skips the sexually disturbing part and took a mental note that Boris is one sick bastard.

**_Thanks for the money though. I badly need it._**

**_P.S. Try to roll in a pile of shit Kai. It will drive them away I'm sure of it_**

**_Bye!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Boris_**

Kai rips the paper and screams "that lying bastard!"

His only other option was going for Zagart for help.

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**(A/N): Woohoo! I updated a new chapter!**

Did this new chapter gives you the giggles?


	17. Turning the tables

******Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine**

******A few early chapters ago, A certain character wanted to capture Kai ever since he got away during the circus incident and here it it!**

Hope you'll enjoy this *smiles*

* * *

Chapter forteen: Turning the tables

On his way to Dr. Zagarts' place, Kai was captured. That's right he was captured by a horrible, evil, despicable, ugly... no, actually she's damn hot and Kai refuse to admit it. No matter how sexy hot his captor was; its the horrible, despicable and evil part Kai has to worry about. He can't believe he got himself captured so easily. Damn that sneaky woman!

How on earth did she do it? it involves a box of adorable kittens, two people wearing ninja outfits, a wooden bat and an abandoned bridge that conveniently leads towards Dr. Zagarts'. How did she know Kai was going there? She's a stalker and a good one at that. She knows Kai couldn't resist helping a bunch of poor hungry and defenseless kittens. Those poor kitties, he has to save them and take them to a shelter. Kai got there, got caught and was dragged all the way to a place he does not know.

Finally waking up from his unconsciousness. Kai felt a sore headache from the back of his head 'what hit me?'. He looks around and notice a rad haired boy in a tuxedo. He was holding a violin and his face was set to a frown, probably saying 'I don't want to be here'. At the center of the room was a red heart-shaped bed and in the middle of it was a woman wearing a bondage outfit.

"There is no escape for you now Kai"

Kai mentally curse_ 'Aw shit! not her!'_

"To think they thought it's impossible for me that I wouldn't be able to catch Kai Hiwatari" she said as she draws herself close to her prisoner or possible sex slave. "Well they were wrong and you are mine, you hear me MINE!". She adjusted herself and cleared her throat before Kai thinks she's insane.

" _-ehem-_ Now that you are here" she snaps her fingers "Raul! play the violin"

Her brother followed orders and plays the violin, rather horribly.

"You are terrible! you ruined the romantic vibe" she scolded

"I told you I'm a beginner"

Julia decided to play the MP3 player instead and looks for the perfect music for this occasion "ooooh, I'll pick this one" She starts dancing her way towards Kai in a slow, rhythmic erotic move.

Kai needs to think of an idea but in his current situation he can't. If only Julia quit seducing him, his brain would function normally. He looks around for any means of escape, so far he saw Raul, Julia slowly stripping, the kittens that they used for bait, Julia starting to take off his shirt very slowly...

Damn, if he could only find some Cow dung or any kinds of shit to cover himself, Julia would back the hell off. But he remembered Boris did say he got explosive amount of pheromones. This got him thinking, he could charm his way out of this mess by turning the tables around. It's a risky idea and it may or may not work but what other choices does he have?

Fuck it! he's gonna do it. He's gonna seduce the hell out of her.

"You know, I find you very attractive when you're like this" he said in his very best to be suave and romantic and just as he guessed, Julia blushed furiously at his comment "Y-you do?"

Kai continues to work his way out "oh yes and if you let me out of these hand cuffs, I'm gonna do all the things you want me to do"

Julia has second thoughts "I don't know"

"look, you wanna have sex or not?" Kai said without hesitation.

Since this is Kai, THE Kai _motherfucking_ Hiwatari, you can't really say no "Wow, you're a _very_ persuasive guy. Raul, get out of the room". Raul quickly left the room and thanks the heavens he didn't have to witness unnecessary lewd scenes. Kai smirks as Julia immediately releases him, boy was she eager. Finally free, Kai proceeds to fool the girl and to do that, he pressed her against the wall. The feeling of Kai's hard body pressed firmly against hers was wonderful and she felt electricity when she touch his muscled upper chest.

'oh my God, I'm going to faint!'

Kai leans closer to her face "I'm going to kiss you"

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG !OMG! OMG!

Their lips were almost close from touching each other and then things suddenly went blank. When she woke up, the first person she saw was her brother "What happened?" she asks.

"I think you and Kai where about to kiss"

she blushes and asks for another detail "and?"

"He knocked you out and escaped" Raul prepared himself from his sister's impending wrath but not after he added an additional info "He also took the kittens"

"you idiot! why didn't you do something!"

"You kicked me out of the room and I find Kai very scary"

Julia grabbed her hair in frustration "Dammit! I was this close"

In the end Kai eventually made it to Dr. Zagart. Not before he went to the police and registered Julia as a sex offender along with Boris.

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**(A/N): WOOOHOOO! KaiXJulia Tease. I finally added Kai some powerful seduction techniques. YAY! Now he can get away from any kinds of mess in case he gets abducted again. It won't work on huge mobs though.**

**And now to answer some Reviewers: _(I forgot to add this in the previous chapter)_**

**grimnessreaper: **Sounds like a personal issue so I'll give you a PM

**akin 'to38: **thank for your constant reviews :)

**MisstiqueRose: **This will be more sillier when we get to the Zagart chapter

**fia3striker:** This is a parody where Kai being shirtless is over-exaggerated

If you want to add your own ideas for future chapters. Please go ahead, any idea is welcome

Now give a review :)


	18. The Bodyguard

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine and any Dragon Ball Z references are owned by TV Tokyo, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.**

**I just want to say to my Readers a cute thank you for reading all these absurdity.**

**Have fun**

My bad. This is the REAL chapter 14

* * *

The moment Zeo opened the door, his head exploded. Literally

Rewind a few minutes ago...

Dr. Zagart bonded with his android son by listening to him playing a lovely melody with his violin. The sweet moment was lost when the doorbell rang. Zagart being a lazy old ass, decided to ask his forever youthful son "Zeo could you please answer the door and see who it is?"

Zeo cocked his head sideways "what happened to our butler, Jeeves?"

"He took a vacation leave so that means we have to do things around the house by ourselves" the scientist said as he took a sip of tea. It didn't really matter to him since he got Zeo with him. Hell, he can let his robotic son do all kinds of chores and Zeo would never complain. With all the right programming, he can get away doing menial task such as answering doors and sometimes getting toilet papers in case the bathroom ran out.

"oh, okay" the android carefully put aside his violin and headed towards the main entrance. The doorbell kept ringing as he reached downstairs and once Zeo finally opened the door he saw a marvelous sight.

It was Kai.

A shirtless sweaty Kai.

Unfortunately, Kai didn't expect there would be guard dogs running around the area when he entered. They where large breeds of Rottweilers and attacked Kai. They only managed to rip off his shirt and once every garment of his shirt was torn to shreds. BOOM! he was shirtless and the dogs where easily subdued. they now think of him as their new pack leader and they worship him. This wasn't bad but what really bothers Kai is that they keep on humping his leg.

Zeo was processing the image of a very muscled, sweaty, shirtless Kai. He looked so cool despite his legs being constantly humped by the family dogs. He looks like an Action star, Man he's awesome!

_Processing..._

_Processing..._

And that's when he malfunctioned and exploded. His father and creator came when he heard the explosion.

"ZEO NOOOOOOO!"

Normal timeline...

Dr. Zagart wasn't angry at Kai when he found his son scattered robotic remains. Why? because Kai was still shirtless. Seriously he could look at Kai shirtless and he'll turned gay for a couple of seconds. The androids' father has to make sure not to look directly at Kai and concentrate more on Kai's request.

"So, you want me to make you a robot body guard to protect you from your rabid fans?"

Kai nods "yeah, can you do that in a day? I can sense them getting close". Over time, Kai has become almost paranoid. He only hope this Zagart guy will help him with his problem if not, Kai would result other options...

"oh that's' no problem!. Let me notify this to my team back at the lab. They are reassembling my son at the moment" he said and took out a cellphone.

Kai apologized to the older man for accidentally made his son explode "right, about that..."

Zagart waves it off as if his son getting blown up was no big deal "don't worry about. It's not your fault" he accidentally looks at him and his stare lingers for awhile. He manage to shake it off when he realize the teenager came here for help and he's not going to be one of those crazy fans of his. Zagart mentally chants and let his thoughts drift elsewhere.

_I like Boobs, I like Science, I like boobs, I like science!_

When the robot bodyguard finally arrived. Kai sighed in relief knowing that now, no one can bother him, kidnap him, force him to strip... Kai shudders at the memories. It would take tons of alcohol to forget all those unpleasant memories even thought he's not yet of legal age. But who gives a damn? He's not going to let these memories haunt him for the rest of his life.

Zagart presents to him a large bulky robot "Kai this is model DKVM-4K x3500 M4"

_'Geez that's a pretty unnecessary long name'_

"but we call it little Zeo for short" he finished

Kai blinked _'little Zeo?' _Kai looks up at the size_ 'that thing is a behemoth!'_

Zagart continues on explaining the details of his Robot "little Zeo has been equip with all the state of the art hardware that can handle all kinds of trouble you are in and I even programmed the same artificial intelligence I've used on my son. Nothing can go wrong!"

Kai expects the robotic machinery "seems okay" he notices something odd on the robots artillery _'is that a bomb?'_

"he makes good cappuccino too!" Zagart added and indeed he ordered the robot a cup. Instantly, the robot did actually produce a cup and gave it to it's creator. Zagart took a sip and let a satisfied look on his face "ahhhh... perfect". While he was busy with his beverage, his creation looks down at Kai and started processing his owner. A robot for some unexplainable reasons, with all the rational and logical thinking. Has somehow found shirtless Kai rather, appealing.

"Master Kai, I believe I have develop on what you humans called - LOVE" the robot spoke. Zagart choke on his cappuccino "The hell!?"

The situation became even more complicated when Zeo after being repaired, intervened "NO! Kai is mine". One one of the scientist notice how the two robots reacts whenever they look at the shirtless teenager and he had to admit he's one FINE piece of specimen, he quickly orders his colleagues for a quick scan "quick! whats' the scouter says about shirtless Kai's power level!"

"It's over nine thousaaaannnd!"

"Nine thousand!?"

Dr. Zagart starts to sweat and panic "oh no! little Zeo somehow became self-aware! he thinks he's human". Kai face palmed _'Great, even robots want him'. _They watched as the two robots battle it out and exchange blows. Zeo was surprisingly winning the battle and that's' all because he was also and used to be a beyblader. The bigger robot knew he was losing the battle so his last option was to flee, not after saying his goodbye to Kai.

"I'll be seeing you soon Kai and I will win your LOVE!" He said and zooms off the sky in jet speed. He left a large gaping hole on the roof. Dr. Zagart contemplatively rubs his goatee and observes the damage "hmmm... I guess giving him jetpacks was a bad idea" he felt Zeo tugs him by his lab coat.

"hey dad"

"yes son?"

"Is it possible for you to turn me into a girl so me and Kai can get married and live happily ever after?"

This got him thinking. He always wanted grand kids someday "I don't see why not? Anything is possible, with SCIENCE!". Zeo cheered "Yeeeeey!" Both father and son didn't notice Kai leaving the place after hearing their conversation.

His fellow scientist emerged from the rubble caused by little Zeo and joined in "fuck yeah! Science!"

Kai left the place after discovering they're too useless to help him. 'Great, just great' First, he has rabid fans and now one crazy robot who's in love with him, dammit! What else could he do now to escape all of this mess?

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**(A/N): I have nothing to say in this chapter except. Holy crap I added a Robot shirtless Kai fan!**

**I shall leave no spoilers for the next chapter but it's a fan disservice and you might hate me for it.  
**

**And now to answer the Reviewers:**

**James Birdsong: **Thanks Anonymous reader! :)**  
**

**grimnessreaper: **I'm glad that everything went well for you. :)

**akin 'to38: **y'know I really haven't wrote your gift fic. I only made little drafts on how the story should go while keeping everybody in character.

**Fifitheflowertot: **I was hoping I could write this crazy shirtless Kai story to a goal of 30 chapters but I'm not sure if it's possible.


	19. I'm dreaming of you

**Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine and also SUBWAY**

**Chapter 15**

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Kai placed a wad of cash on the counter of a fast-food restaurant and ordered "give me your biggest and fattiest double cheese burger, some large fries and a soda". There was desperation in his voice as he demands to the cashier to hurry up with his order.

The woman from the cashier didn't mind having a sexy, rude, shirtless handsome man ordering her to hurry, she even gave Kai a discount "thank for ordering The Heart Attack Grill, please come again" she cheerfully said as that's what all staff are trained to do but hers on the other hand is genuine.

Kai's new plan was to have a new diet plan of gaining weight. So everyday he goes to the same establishment and order large meals for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. Kai even stops exercising and soon he became morbidly obese. Even the cashier who heavily has a crush on him before, loses interest in him and grossed out. This was exactly the effect Kai wanted.

Now that he's fat he can live a normal, stalker-free life with no one to bother him. His new problem however was his new health problems concerning being always lethargic, constant headaches, boobs that are larger than Mariah's and serious heart problems. Didn't matter, he's happy.

He can't wait to see the looks on those crazy fans of his when they see how he looks now.

"K-Kai? is THAT you!?"

"Oh my god he's FAT!"

"and unattractive!"

"I'm going to kill myself" before Tyson could commit seppuku, he was stopped by friends.

For some cruel and twisted reason, it felt good to hear that. Kai walks victoriously knowing nobody will ever, ever, eveeeeer bother him again.

Tyson's Residence (AKA official headquarters of the 'Shirtless Kai Fanclub')

The main hall of the dojo was in chaos as all the members kept debating on what to do about their now fat 'shirtless love interest'. As the host of the house, Tyson grab their attention as best as he could "Guys! shut up and sit down or else I'll play Ming Ming's album loudly till your ears bleed!"

As the only non member, Kenny raises his hand "I don't mind Tyson"

Everyone disagrees "shut up Kenny!"

Tyson continues with the meeting now that he got everyone's attention "guys this is a serious issue. We need to find a way to get Kai into shape again. I'm only saying this as a concerned friend and not because I find him attractive"

For everyone, the whole I'm-doing-this-because-he's-my-friend- act was getting tiring 'oh god! he's still denying his attraction to Kai'

"Does anyone has any suggestions?" Tyson looks at the members for any ideas "anyone?"

"Liposuction"

"as if Kai would agree to that!I say we kidnap him AND give him liposuction"

"Do you know how much Kai weights now? we can't carry his fat ass all the way to the hospital!"

a member gasps "how dare you call Kai FAT!"

The room erupted to another argument and soon it became violent when Tala threw a water balloon randomly just for shits and giggles. Since they were all useless, it was up to Tyson's team The BBA Revolution to put Kai into diet rehab.

Hilary looks at Tyson and ask "So what's the plan Tyson"

Tyson puts on his largest, stupidest smile he could manage "easy, ever watched that guy from JACKASS?"

**OPERATION : MAKE KAI SEXY AGAIN COMMENCE!**

Fat Kai walk to his usual place to eat when he was almost at the entrance he saw a poster that reads:

**Don't Feed**

**Kai Hiwatari**

It even have a picture of him and when Kai looks around other eating establishment there where more posters scattering and what's even worse when Kai orders the cashier refuses saying they are not suppose to feed him by order of the management. Even when Kai actually manage to buy food from the other side of town that damn robot Zagart made, appeared and destroyed the place.

The only place with no posters and avoided destruction by little Zeo was the famous SUBWAY.

Kai grits his teeth 'I knew it, they did this on purpose'

On cue, his friends pop-out "oh look Kai! a healthy and alternative way to eat" Tyson said with a cheeky smile "now you will definitely shed all thous pounds and go back to your old self"

But Kai has other ideas, instead of giving in and getting what everyone wanted. Kai chooses another alternative "Or I'll just do fasting and be skinny like a skeleton"

everyone laughs nervously "you're not kidding right?"

Kai puts on his serious face "I never joke"

True to his words when they finally see Kai again, he really did looked like a skeleton, much to their horror.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Tyson woke up from a very bad dream. Max immediately went to his side with a concerned look on his face "Tyson you were screaming so loud. What happened?"

"I had a bad dream!"

Max rolled his eyes "well _duh_ you were screaming"

"it was terrible! first Kai was morbidly obese and he turned into a skeleton"

Max laughs it off "hahaha oh Tyson, Kai would never do anything stupid like that and you know it"

It made Tyson feel a little better "Yeah you're right Max, man what was I thinking? So what's the agenda for today? any signs to where Kai went?"

"Europe"

Tyson was not sure if he heard Max correctly "say what?"

"I said. Kai went to Europe. I'm gonna contact the Majestics now" Max sees Tyson quickly getting up "Tyson where are you going?"

"I need money to get to Europe of course!"

Meanwhile...

Relaxing in his seat, Kai was hoping Europe would be better than his visit in Russia and forever staying away from Japan.

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**(A/N): Looks like we have Kai on a Euro trip with Team Majestics! expect kinky moments hahahahaha!**

**Place a REVIEW if you want to contribute a crazy idea for future chapters, Thanks!**


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